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A Somewhat Safe Conversation About the Man With Two Penises

So the Double Dick Dude wrote a memoir.

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It’s been a year since the Snopes servers were brought to a crawl with inquiries on whether DoubleDickDude was real or fake. The notorious NSFW pictures, posted under DoubleDickDude, quickly mounted the ranks of Reddit posts. The pictures were simple enough, a man, going commando with his jeans unzipped. He appeared to have two penises.

The disorder is called diphallia, diphallus, or Diphallic terata. It describes when a male baby is born with the congenital anomaly of having  two penises. 

Being ever curious about the detours that human anatomy and physiology can take, I found it interesting to learn that this disorder is not a result of Vanishing Twin Syndrome but instead is only little variance in bodily structure. A little variance in a major part of the body's structure.

Tell me more! Tell me more! I wanted to hear the full story of the DoubleDickDude. Who was he? Where did he live? How did he perform common bodily functions? Did he have any other associated abnormalities? How many testes did he have and were the fully functional? Could he reproduce? Would or could the children inherit the disorder? What, if any, were the psychological setbacks associated with having two penises? Advantages? How does it affect him in a relationship? I set out to fully explore his Reddit posts, interviews, and even went to his Twitter account, DiphallicDude, for answers.

Unfortunately what I found answered few of My questions. I learned that one penis (his favorite) was about an inch and a half longer than the other and tended to get more erect during arousal. He mentioned in one interview, that since both penises were connected to a single muscle responsible for urination. This meant that he had not other choice but to pee through both of them at the same time. He is in a bisexual, polyamorous relationship, with a man, and a woman. They don’t seem to mind his exibitionistic tendencies.

The presence of two penises in one male, (sic) occurs in 1 in 5.5 million males.
— Sergen's Medical Dictionary

The rest of what I learned about DDD was about his sexual deviances. He’s obviously voyeuristic but I was not fully prepared for what he wanted to show. And no, I don’t mean the numerous full frontal pictures. I mean what he wanted show going on in the back. In his interview he mentioned he enjoyed giving and receiving (and giving again, I guess). To back up this fact he included some Goatse style pictures in his portfolio. For those of you who missed the Goatse meme, first, you’re lucky. Second, I’ll spare you the horror. Do Not Google It! It is a picture of a bulging, prolapsed rectum. The insides are squeezed out of the booty-hole and now are on the outside. It’s not cute. What was cute were the hashtags he included with these pictures. Things like; #bodyacceptance,  #igottabeme , #loveitorleaveit, and #bliss. OK dude, I see what you’re trying to do there and I think it’s pretty f*@ked up!

Having an anal prolapse is not normal and it’s not healthy. Furthermore, it is a choice you’re making to blow your butthole to oblivion like that. And to be clear, I’m not judging you because of your lifestyle choices or your two Wee Willy Winkies. I’m strictly talking about you choosing to perform and post pictures of your fetish practices. Granted, I can’t even begin to imagine all of the psychological crap you had to negotiate to get where you are today. I’m genuinely happy that you were able to find love with not one but two consenting adults but then I look at your pictures again and I think…Damn!

Sometimes we are called upon to be an example. I, myself have had to be one (token) more often than I would have chosen. It sucks to be different and maybe most of the suck comes from having to be the "official representative" of whatever your small group is. But that's life dude! 

I think about some other poor diphallic dude sitting at home, isolated. He hears about you and thinks, finally. Finally someone will bring some type of knowledge and acceptance to people living with diphallasparatus. But he is wrong. You seem more interested in serving yourself up for mockery. I each his or her own. Everyone has their own life to live. And again, I'm not judging you for posting pictures of your prolapsed rectum, people should be smart enough to know that that's not a good thing. I'm judging you for not stepping up. I mean, Damn. It’s just my opinion and like assholes everyone has one. But…I probably won’t be reading the book.